Literally Everyone HATES The Names Of Polly Cooper's Twins On "Riverdale"
18 January 2018, 16:35
Polly sweetie, what is you doing?
While the real life news is obsessed with Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's newborn baby girl's name, the Riverdale fandom is currently losing it over the name reveal of Polly Cooper's newborn twins.
In episode 10 of season 2, Polly sneaks back home to pack more clothes before she heads back to the cult "farm" where she's currently living. Betty finds her in her bedroom packing a suitcase... WITHOUT A BABY BUMP.
It turns out that Polly has given birth! Finally! To twins! Nana Blossom (who is definitely a witch) was right! And they have names! What are the names? Well... let's just say this: We guarantee that whatever Kim and Kanye pick for their baby girl, it won't be as wild or ridiculous as what names Polly freakin' Cooper has chosen to bestow upon her offspring.
Are you ready? The babies names are...
JUNIPER AND DAGWOOD
You know what, for a girl who grew up in a family where everyone's names are the most boring suburban names known to man, she really does have some nerve. Jason Blossom is spinning in his damn grave.
Everyone is absolutely losing it over the name reveal and the majority of the fandom aren't living for it at all.
the fuck kinda names are juniper and dagwood
— soph (@badassjuggy) January 18, 2018
Polly, sweetie... what is you doing? Did you fall and smack your little head on the pavement?
Can’t wait to see JUNIPER and DAGWOOD #Riverdale pic.twitter.com/Rm8kbEe4WN
— Mrs. Samantha Gordon (@devsxprincess) January 18, 2018
No wonder Polly didn't want Mama Coop to know... she would have thrown SEVERAL bricks through SEVERAL windows.
Alice Cooper: are the babies healthy?
— G :)) (@gehensley) January 18, 2018
Betty: No. their names are Juniper and Dagwood #Riverdale pic.twitter.com/27Dcm1F2Vk
Actually... now you mention it, this is show I would watch.
The suite life of Juniper and Dagwood @colesprouse #riverdale
— elise bourg (@BourgElise) January 18, 2018
I would absolutely trust them with my legal issues.
Juniper and Dagwood: Attorneys at Law #riverdale pic.twitter.com/bt0CVGci1G
— Tessa Leigh Williams (@TessaLWilliams) January 18, 2018
Spin off, please!
Juniper and Dagwood: Kid Detectives #riverdale pic.twitter.com/qeyACduHQd
— Tessa Leigh Williams (@TessaLWilliams) January 18, 2018
NO. STOP. THEY'RE TERRIBLE NAMES. HOW DARE YOU.
who in cheryl blossom green earth names there kids Juniper and Dagwood #Riverdale
— SUSHIDA (@Cxped_) January 18, 2018
Did we learn NOTHING from American Horror Story this season? Cults are bad.
Juniper is an ok name. Dagwood is not. Polly should have gotten a better cult. #Riverdale
— Kristin (@fiddledeedee85) January 18, 2018
Even the official Archie Comics account is roasting her over it.
Juniper and Dagwood. #Riverdale pic.twitter.com/IKArQbWe4t
— Archie Comics (@ArchieComics) January 18, 2018
And in that moment, we were ALL Betty.
Juniper and Dagwood pic.twitter.com/NuVwSvT702
— Best of Bughead (@bugheadsbest) January 18, 2018