'Dear White People' Delivered The REALEST Gay Sex Scene Of All Time

10 May 2018, 17:44

The hit Netflix show's depiction of man-to-man lovin' is too accurate.

Gay sex (and in this context I mean man-on-man anal action) is a whole lot of fun. But it can also be a minefield, especially when you're not overly experienced. Over the years, gay sex on screen has gone from a sideways-glance as the camera fades to black, to something more nuanced and realistic (via the out-and-out pain-fest that was Brokeback Mountain's infamous tent scene.)

But perhaps the most realistic so far is the scene between Lionel Higgins (DeRon Horton) and Wesley Alvarez (Rudy Martinez) in the second season of 'Dear White People', thanks to its focus on the most vital ingredient in gay sex. No, not love you soppy gits. LUBE.

We need to talk about lube

A lot of gay sex scenes on TV and film have avoided tackling the lube question, probably because there's nothing particularly sexy about the stuff. But do you know what else isn't sexy? Some over-confident so-and-so thinking a bit of spit and good luck will stop gay sex feeling like someone's trying to land a Boeing 747 inside of you. Thankfully, in lieu of any real man-to-man sexual education in schools, 'Dear White People' has tackled this head on. So, here's the tea on gay sex, according to 'Dear White People'.

1. Locating the entry point

They might not be quite as anatomically diverse as a vagina, but every bum really is different. Shape, size, cheek-density, hole placement - it can all vary, and it all matters when you're trying to get your peen in your fella's cakes. You're not always going to get a hole in one, especially when you're new to the gig. The secret? Well, it's the same as crossing the road: stop, listen, wait, go slowly.

2. Brace for landing

The moment of entry is very rarely 100% comfortable. But don't worry! For most people, the pain gives way to pleasure soon enough. But what we're NOT about to do is just wazzoo it in there dry like your penis is a snooker cue and you've got the break shot. Nor, my wonderful bottoms, should you feel obliged to power through the pain if you don't want to - as Wesley teaches us in Dear White People. Learning how to get freaky is no easy task for guys who sleep with guys, so take your damn time!

3. Lube. No, more lube.

Listen, I get it. Breaking from foreplay to grab the lube isn't the sexiest, nor is squirting cold gloop into your palms. But that doesn't mean you get to scrimp on the lubrication! One measly squirt simply will not do, Lionel.

Luckily, Wesley is a little more experienced than old Lionel. And let me tell you, this next gif is real AF. This is the tea, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. When Wesley pumped 10 squirts of lube into Lionel's hands? I felt that.

4. The emotional rush

Remember at the start, when I said gay sex was great? I meant it. So great, in fact, that you may feel all sorts of emotions surge, particularly when you're learning the ropes. My advice? Don't blurt them out like Lionel - that's what dream journals and secret Tumblrs are for.

If, like Lionel, you suffer from mid-coital verbal diarrhoea, you better be able to think quickly too:

5. Getting to it

Once you're relaxed, paced, and most of all LUBED UP, all that's left to do is to get your life, Wesley and Lionel style.

Amen to that.