Jaclyn Hill opens up about struggle with alcohol following lipstick launch

4 February 2020, 12:50

Jaclyn addressed the comments about her appearance and also revealed that she lost money following her lipstick scandal.

Beauty YouTuber Jaclyn Hill has been pretty open about how tough her 2019 was and now she's opening up about it to her fans on her channel.

In a new video titled 'Get Ready With Me + Opening Up (Vulnerable)', Jaclyn explains that the video was very hard for her to film but it was time "to come clean about a lot of things and open up about stuff" that she's been keeping to herself.

READ MORE: Jaclyn Hill responds to backlash after comments on celebrity makeup ranges

Explaining that she's now in a place where she is open to talking about it, Jaclyn calls the launch of her beauty brand "a total flop and total failure" and she claims that she didn't make any money from the launch of her lipsticks. She also addresses the "topic of discussion" that's been happening online about her face and weight.

Around 18 minutes into the video, Jaclyn opens up about everything that happened last year, particularly the trolling that has happened online and comments regarding her weight.

"I've never addressed this in a serious way, I've made little tweets and comments before like, it's not fillers, calm down. But I've never actually talked about what's really going on," she says to her fans.

Jaclyn explains that she put on close to 30 lbs since her lipsticks launched and shuts down any speculation people may have about her using fillers and botox. Later in the video, she opens up about how her anxiety following the lipstick launch affected her.

"To cope with my anxiety and my depression, I turned to alcohol and started drinking to fix what I was feeling mentally," she adds. "When I would start to get anxiety, I would just immediately, 'I need a shot, I need a drink, I need a cocktail.' I would just numb it."

She continues: "I have been using alcohol to self medicate and that is why my face has been so swollen. That's why you saw it throughout the year get bigger and bigger and bigger. That's why it is where it is now."

GET READY WITH ME + OPENING UP (VULNERABLE)

Explaining what triggered her struggle with alcohol, Jaclyn says: "As you guys know, last year when I launched my brand, it was a total flop and total failure. And I had a moment where it broke my heart and I cried about it later."

She then explains that during a game with friends, Colleen Ballinger asked her: "Did you really not know that your lipsticks had fuzzies on them?" Jaclyn then began to wonder if her friends and peers were questioning her integrity when it came to her brand.

Talking about that particular launch, Jaclyn also confesses that she lost money. "I did not make a penny, not one cent on that launch," she explains.

"I lost a ton of money. I did not make one dime on that launch. I felt like an idiot. I handled the whole thing so poorly. And then I was disappointed in my myself for the way I handled it because I was in a state of panic and shock."

At the end of the discussion about her 2019 struggles, Jaclyn says she is now in therapy and is working towards feeling better in herself.

In other news, Jaclyn is set to release a new collaboration "very soon". Preemptively shutting down the backlash she'll no doubt get from people claiming her return to YouTube and social media was opportunistic, Jaclyn said she was disappointed in the timing of the launch.

Stay tuned for more details on that.