Co-Star astrology memes will read your horoscope in the most savage way

22 March 2019, 17:21

By Sam Prance

Co-Star is a popular astrology app that's inspired a hilarious new meme...

Co-Star astrology memes are breaking the internet and they're hilarious.

It's no secret that everyone loves a good horoscope reading. It doesn't matter if you live your life by all things astrological, or if you're highkey skeptical, few of us can resist the urge to find out what the stars have to say about our lives. Earlier this month, the internet went into meltdown over a new zodiac challenge and now everyone is addicted to an astrology app called Co-Star. In fact, people are so addicted that it's inspired a savage meme.

Check out the funniest Co-Star astrology memes below.

Co-Star astrology memes will read your horoscope accurately. Picture: Warner Bros. Pictures // NBC

Co-Star is a new astrology app famous for giving "hyper-personalised, real-time" horoscopes. That and the fact that Co-Star uses real data from NASA means that it's extremely popular among zodiac buffs. Essentially, you tell it your date of birth and it then gives you updates, warnings and advice on how to live your life based on daily horoscope readings. It brings the art and science of astrology straight to your phone.

Amazing, right? Except for the fact that Co-Star users have noticed how negative the app can be. If you turn on notifications for the app, it gives you "your day at a glance" alerts but they include advice like: "If they want you, they'll let you know" and "you talk about other people because you don't have your own life". Way harsh, Ta! Naturally, it's inspired a meme in which people create their own Co-Star readings.

Let's start with one which everyone can relate too.

nobody:

me:

co-star:
╭━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃I see you’ve taken an ┃
┃extra sip of dumb bitch ┃
┃juice today ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— jaaan (@lmaoitsjan) March 17, 2019

Now this is some astrology I can get on board with.

Putting this in the harsh but fair horoscope file.

╭━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃I see you’ve got ur clown ┃
┃suit on like you always do ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— adam (@brokeangeI) March 16, 2019

I'm noticing a pattern.

Some of the memes are highly specific.

╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃stop sleeping with old men┃
┃to fill the void that your ┃
┃father made when he left ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝕲𝖊𝖔𝖗𝖌𝖊 𝐕𝐈 (@ariesmoan) March 17, 2019

Wow... um, okay.

Others are just highlighting how bad the app can be.

Me:

Co-Star: Your day at a glance.
Run yourself over with a car, you single bitch.
— Ira Madison III (@ira) March 17, 2019

I mean it's never said this but then again it's kind of said this.

All people want is a pick me up for their self esteem.

╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃You will, as per usual, ┃
┃disappoint your entire family ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— antonio (@antoniodelotero) March 15, 2019

Co-Star says no.

Maybe some of Co-Star's advice is useful though.

╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃why the fuck are you drinking┃
┃a whole bottle of wine and ┃
┃texting your shitty ex. ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— ✧ 𝔰𝔲𝔫 𝔡𝔞𝔡𝔡𝔶 ✧ (@Solisortis) March 16, 2019

They could have said it more kindly but they have a point.

This one is for they gays.

╭━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃Be gay do crimes ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— 𝕼𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊 𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖉𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖜 (@ShelbyLano) March 16, 2019

I'm listening.

Maybe Co-Star is good after all?

╭━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔ＣＯ－ＳＴＡＲ ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃Hey fucker, the moon says ┃
┃you suck and no-ones ┃
┃ever gonna love you ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— GAYK-47 (@GAY_K47) March 15, 2019

Maybe not.

This meme is important.

╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃stop eating all the fucking ┃
┃oreos i wrote my name on ┃
┃the box and everything ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— ☁️🍒 lilac astrology 🍒☁️ (@astrollocherry) March 16, 2019

I put my name on the box for a reason Linda.

Of course the meme got NSFW.

╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃Youre pussy smell like ┃
┃earring backs ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— jake (@jakegrnr) March 15, 2019

I...

And it crossed over with other iconic content.

╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃This is for rachel you big ┃
┃fat white nasty smelling ┃
┃fat bitch ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— Zongiana 🤪 (@zongehh) March 15, 2019

Ffssssss.

What if Co-Star is the bitter bitch, not us?

╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ╮
┃🌔ＣＯ－ＳＴＡＲ
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 pic.twitter.com/8DQMedeJxR
— alice ☾ (@mxnstrxlogy) March 16, 2019

It makes sense.

In conclusion...

╭━━━━━━━━━━━━╮
┃🌔 CO — STAR ┃
┃𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝘁 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 ┃
┃some of y’all bout to be ┃
┃real mad at me but ┃
┃it must be said... ┃
╰━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
— maryah🐥 (@maryaheburney) March 16, 2019

...we need to delete this app.