Batman’s Penis Is Shown In A New DC Comic And The Internet Is LOSING It
21 September 2018, 11:47
This is a LOT to take in...
Are you ever just going about your day and then The World Wide Web hits you with a surprise which makes you rethink your entire existence? This week alone we've been hit with the wildest news stories. First things first, Stormy Daniels compared Donald Trump's penis to Toad from the Super Mario universe, then people were debating if Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street are gay and now Batman's penis is everywhere.
Say what? Historically DC Comics have never featured Batman's member in their beloved publications but that all changed over the past few days. DC released Batman: Damned No. 1 on Wednesday as the first comic on their new imprint created specifically for mature readers (DC Black Label). So far so normal, but the issue immediately became a huge online talking point thanks to the fact that it shows Batman's penis.
No. We are not joking. After years of keeping Batman's private parts private, DC have now shown Batman in the nude in full for the first time. The penis appears in shadows but it's very evident that it's there. According to Comic Book Resources, DC have now decided to censor the penis in the digital version because it's not “additive to the story”. Also “future printings of the issue will use the altered panels.”
In other words, Batman's penis is available for a limited time only. However, fans have already been sharing it all over social media so we've gone to great lengths to source it for you.
Check out the penis in all of its glory here.
never thought i would see batman's penis one day pic.twitter.com/i0wBdHf7Wc
— gabriel (@zorldyck) September 19, 2018
Unsurprisingly, the internet is shook. Here are just a few of the hilarious reactions.
Some are overcome with surprise.
It’s been [0] day(s) since I’ve seen Batman’s junk.
— Heather "has no merit" Antos (@HeatherAntos) September 20, 2018
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We're still processing this.
Others are concerned with names.
Who called it "Batman's penis" and not Lil' Wayne
— Charlotte Ariel Finn (@CharlotteBeyond) September 20, 2018
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Give this person an award.
Comic book readers have been blessed with a lot of content this week.
Marvel fans this week: CAPTAIN MARVEL!!
— Ben Affleck's black curtain (@qwellcrist) September 19, 2018
DC fans this week: BATMAN’S PENIS!!
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Each to their own.
Fans are reserving the limited edition in stores.
just called my local comic shop to reserve a copy of the book with BATMAN'S PENIS and he muttered under his breath "this is ridiculous" and i am so glad I get to annoy a straight person AND see Bruce Wayne's peener in the same day
— Anthony Oliveira (@meakoopa) September 20, 2018
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It is an historic publication.
Then there are those who are concerned with details.
Never in my life did I imagine I'd be clicking a headline thinking "Batman better be circumcised or this isn't canon".
— Connor Goldsmith (@dreamoforgonon) September 19, 2018
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It's the little things that matter.
One or two people are petitioning for Marvel to get on the penis train.
There comes a point in every Batman fan's life where they've wondered what his penis looks like. And now DC have finally made that happen, they have done this because they aren't cowards, like Marvel. #showusthehulksdinger
— 𝐮𝐧𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐤𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 (@billykeable) September 20, 2018
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DC are in a league of their own as it stands.
And longterm Batman aficionados are reminiscing on simpler times.
I’m old enough to remember when it was a big deal to see Batman’s nipples. pic.twitter.com/C3r9AB65wF
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) September 21, 2018
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How times have changed.
Ultimately, this isn't what we expected see when we saw Batman trending on Twitter.
*Sees #Batman🦇 trending*
— David Taylor II™ (@DT2ComicsChat) September 20, 2018
*Checks to see why Batman is trending* pic.twitter.com/sCMsnXinwn
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The internet never ceases to shock us.