Demi Lovato says she struggled with ‘survivor’s guilt’ following Mac Miller’s death
18 August 2022, 14:52
Demi Lovato opens up about the aftermath of her overdose
"I had a lot of survivor’s guilt after my overdose because...right after that, Mac Miller died, and it just put everything into perspective for me." [CW // Addiction]
Listen to this article
Loading audio...
[CONTENT WARNING: This article contains details about addiction that some may find triggering or distressing.]
Demi Lovato says that she struggled with "survivor’s guilt" after Mac Miller passed away.
In a new interview with host Zane Lowe, Demi reveals that a song off her forthcoming album, Holy Fvck, was written in the fallout from watching friends and colleagues, including Mac Miller, die from drug overdoses.
"I’ve made friends of all ages. I’ve lost friends that were around my age, and those hurt so deeply because we’ve been in the trenches together," the singer said of the song, 'Dead Friends'.
READ MORE: Demi Lovato explains why she's updated her pronouns to she/her
Demi went on to recall how this 'could have been her' following a near-fatal heroin overdose in July 2018.
"I had a lot of survivor’s guilt after my overdose because...right after that, Mac Miller died, and it just put everything into perspective for me of, ‘That could have been you, that almost was you, and how are you going to live your life now?’ And it affected me a lot."
Mac passed away at 26 years old on September 7th, 2018, following an accidental drug overdose.
During the Dancing with the Devil documentary, Demi revealed that they suffered three strokes, a heart attack, and blind spots in their vision during the overdose which occurred just two months before Mac’s death. Also in the documentary, Demi spoke about the recovery process, revealing that she relapsed after the overdose.
Demi Lovato: New Album, Survivor's Guilt, and Falling In Love | Apple Music
"I wish I could say that the last night that I touched heroin was the night of my overdose but it wasn't. I had just done a week-long intensive trauma retreat," she said. "The night that I came back from that retreat, I called him. I wanted to rewrite his choice of violating me. I wanted it now to be my choice. And he also had something that I wanted, which were drugs."
She adds: "I ended up getting high. I thought how did I pick up the same drugs that put me in the hospital? I was mortified at my decisions. I called him back and I said: 'No, I'm gonna fuck you.' It didn't fix anything, it didn't take anything away, it just made me feel worse. But, that for some reason, was my way of taking the power back."
If you, or someone you know, is struggling with addiction, the following organisations may be able to help.
- FRANK (Drug Abuse): https://www.talktofrank.com/
- NHS (Alcohol Abuse): https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/alcohol-misuse/
- SAMHSA (USA): https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
Read more Demi Lovato news here:
- Demi Lovato says their vibrator is better than their ex and Max Ehrich clapped back
- Demi Lovato says they are no longer California sober following backlash
- Demi Lovato has updated their pronouns to they/them/she/her
- Demi Lovato has released a gender-inclusive sex toy
WATCH: Sabrina Carpenter vs. The Most Impossible Sabrina Carpenter Quiz
Sabrina Carpenter vs. 'The Most Impossible Sabrina Carpenter Quiz' | PopBuzz Meets
